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All of the best answers in all of the wrong places

Shaylee Castle, Contributing Writer

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Lilly was asked these questions during class when she was supposed to be working.

Cornell was asked when he was supposed to be teaching and grading.

Aliyah was asked while she was editing.

Shekinah was asked in the girls’ bathroom while she was having a conversation with others.

Yudell was asked when she entered the bathroom to talk to Shekinah.

Patricia was asked when she was crocheting.

Cora answered with Patricia while doing work.

 

What is something weird that you eat that others find bizarre?

Lilly-”ketchup on eggs.”

Cornell-”vegan lasagna/vegan food.”

Aliyah-“Crickets”

Patricia-”Ketchup on eggs, ranch on pizza.”

Shaylee-”Mustard on tater tots, ketchup on eggs, french fries and vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.”

 

What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?

Lilly-”yawning.”

Cornell-”Texting and walking with headphones in. Or playing Pokemon go.”

Aliyah-”Dabbing.”

Shekinah- “sneezing.”

Patricia-”Doing musically.”

Shaylee-”Staring off into space.”

 

What is something that is really popular now, but in 5 years everyone will look back on and be embarrassed by?

Lilly-”Eyebrow trends. And music we liked.”

Cornell: “Fortnite.”

Aliyah-”Dabbing.”

Patricia-”Calling things wet.”

Shaylee-”The bloc boy.”

 

What set of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?

Lilly-”rat poison, a get well soon card, a cake.”

Cornell- “handcuffs.”

Aliyah-”Undergarments, anti-itch cream. “

Shekinah- “lingerie.”

Patricia-”A shirt that has a really bad meme on it.”

Shaylee-” A bandanna, Rope, a lighter, lighter fluid, and bleach.”

 

What job would you be terrible at?

Lilly-”all of them.”

Cornell-”anything to do with math, an accountant.”

Aliyah-”Construction, anything involving physical labor.”

Shekinah- “anything by myself.”

Patricia-”Any job where I sit down all day.”

Shaylee-”Army, and military stuff, or putting a pet down. I couldn’t kill someone or something, it’d hurt me to hurt another.”

 

What are some small things that make your day better?

Lilly-”when I smile at a stranger and they smile back. “

Cornell- “sharing a laugh with a student when something funny happens in the classroom, playing catch with my kids.”

Aliyah-”Taking a nap.”

Shekinah-”When people smile at me”

Patricia-”Food, and clouds.”

Shaylee-”Making others smile and laugh. It warms my heart to see someone smiling and not sad. I hate seeing others sad whether I enjoy their presence or not.”

 

Do you think pigeons have feelings?

Lilly-”Yes.”

Cornell-”Yes.”

Aliyah-”Yeah.”

Shekinah-”No.”

Patricia-”I don’t think they have feeling. They live and breathe but I don’t think they have feelings.”

Shaylee-”Yes. “Hey aaron? Do you think pigeons have feelings? Benny! Shut*** up!”

 

What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

Lilly- “I can draw a portrait really well.”

Aliyah-”Can make a really good, weird noise.”

Cornell-”I can cook awesome vegan food.”

Yudeli-“Speak spanish.”

Patricia-”Cooking.”

Shaylee-”I know hot to make stained glass, cook, and do tricks on a horse that is moving.”

 

What is the funniest joke you know by heart

Lilly-“How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.”

Cornell-”I can never remember jokes, I don’t have any.”

Aliyah-”I don’t know any jokes.”

Patricia-”So this guy is driving down the road, and he hits this bunny. And he feels bad so he pulls off to the side to look at it and this other guy is driving down the road to see what is happening and he says, “bro, what’s up?” and the other guy’s like, “I hit a bunny. I feel really bad.” and so this guy says, “bro, I got something.” So he goes back to his car and pulls something out of his trunk and walks back over and he says, “watch this.” So he sprays the bunny and it hops up, and hops away a few feet, and then turns around and waves. And then it hops a few more feet and then turns around and waves. And they watch the bunny keep doing this until it hops away into the woods. And so the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “bro what was that?” And the second guy says, “hair restorer, with a slight wave.”

Shaylee-“Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense. What are you talking about? They all make scents.”

 

What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?

Lilly-“Fire Trucks were originally painted red because it was the cheapest color.”

Cornell-”You can make vegan cheese with cashews”

Aliyah-”That penguins are at a constant squat.”-Mari

Patricia-”JoJo siwa is 15 and 5’9.”

Shaylee-”Elephant ear plants are poisonous plants only to some. They have fibers that insert them self into your skin and a substance that stains your hands causing them to itch and feel like you’re being stabbed slightly by the fibers and leaves an annoying tingly/numb feeling on your hands. Wash immediately and several times.”

 

What is your most embarrassing moment from high school?

Cornell-”I barely remember high school, that’s embarrassing. Without knowing it, I was nominated to be on homecoming court and I didn’t wanna be on it at all.”

Aliyah-”Walking into the wrong class.”

Patricia-”It’s not appropriate.”

Shaylee-”My first year in high school I opened the men’s door on accident and quick shut it. I think my face was redder than a tomato even though nobody was in there.”

 

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen?

Lilly-“IKNOWWHEREULIVEJAMES, ( I know where you live James)”

Cornell-“I don’t pay attention, I don’t know. Wi-Fi has names?”

Aliyah-“It was like Bro buddy and a couple numbers, it was just really stupid.”

yudeli – “get your own”

Patricia-”I haven’t seen any interesting ones.”

Shaylee-”WeCanHearYouHavingS**.”

 

If peanut butter wasn’t called peanut butter, what would it be called?

Lilly-“Nut spread, XD”

Cornell-“Peanut paste”

Aliyah-“Peanut spread”

Shekinah-“Nut spread”

Patricia-“Creamy Nuts”

“Nutter paste.”-Shaylee

 

Toilet paper, over or under?

Lilly-“The roll always goes over.”

Cornell-“Over”

Aliyah-“Over?”

Shekinah-“Under”

Patricia-“Over”

Cora-“Both.*starts laughing* “Is it under? I won’t be your friend if it’s under.” ”Cora-Over!”

Shaylee-“Over.”

 

Who is a celebrity that you think shouldn’t be famous?

Lilly-“Criss Angel , I like him, but he just kinda sucks.”

Cornell-“Kanye West, he’s an idiot, dumb as a doornail.”-Cornell

Aliyah-“Kim Kardashian, she started off the wrong way.”

Patricia-“Russ, he’s cringy.”

Cora-“Logan paul. He’s annoying.”

Shaylee-“Miranda Sings. Her voice is entirely cringy like Fred with a backwards R.”-Shaylee

 

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Lilly-“To be honest it’s kinda stupid but i’m really proud of convincing my friend Mason to grab onto the electrical fence in his backyard, His whole arm just kinda locked into place and he started shaking, so we had to knock his hand off of the fence with his shoe. He turned out fine, but he’s just kinda always been stupid.”

Cornell-“That I am raising very nice children who are smart, and funny, and good people.”

Aliyah-“Being cornell’s sidekick.”

Patricia-“I don’t know, I guess i’m really good at swing dancing.”

Shaylee-“Being alive still today.”

 

What’s your best childhood memory?

Lilly-“My friend Tessa and I pushed our other friend Mason onto a little row boat thing without any paddles and we were launching bottle rockets at him while he was trying to catch them, but he fell out of the boat and a bottle rocket hit him in the middle of his forehead.”

Cornell-“Sailing with my dad.”

Aliyah-“Going to my grandma’s house.”

Patricia-“(cora-me!) playing soccer with my dad.”

Shaylee-“My brother falling through our floor register and waving goodbye as he fell. (He was okay.) Also, when he got into blue oil pastels and he and everything else was blue.”

 

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